A story about Polish robots

Wjosjwexna's Polish Robot Adventure!
by David O'Connell  With additional material from Kurt Cobain's diaries
Foreword by Salt (but not Pepa) Afterword by Emmitt Smith
 

Chapter 1  
There once lived a robot named Wjosjwexna.  She was Polish, and being a robot, knew many things about advanced circuitry, but nothing about adventure.  She had never climbed the foothills of Grwjxcblna Park, never fought the One-Eyed Dragon of Xcxcwbgjktgs, or exposed her genitals during the icy winters experienced in the Cghxswuxcpb regions of Pscxjxajbcsa City(jbcaxcb).  She wasn't even technically female, as robots had not evolved to the point where they had their own genders.
 
This puzzled her neighbors.  "Who is she trying to fool?" thought Jcwjba and Paluchowska, the human couple who lived just across the street.
 
At any rate, Wjosjwexna had not experienced adventure, nor had she experienced adventure's gay cousin, derring-do.
 
But then one day Fate called upon her to scale the mighty Tower of Krakawski and retrieve some sort of object that was very precious to someone for some reason.
 
And so she did, and everyone cheered, except her fellow robots, who spit fiery nails of steel up into the air to celebrate, for that has always been the robot way.
 
Wjosjwexna lived a happy life after that, at least up until four hours later, when she was dismantled by a Polish mechanic and her parts used to soup up his sporty 1997 Kielbasa, which after the adjustments, could now go from 0 to 60 in less than zero seconds, thus making it a time machine of sorts.
 
Jcwjba and Paluchowska were also turned into time machines of sorts later that day.  There was a lot of that going on back then. 


The End